Tuesday, November 28, 2006
get me the fuck outta here before...
Ok, I feel a bit better now. Maybe I can fall asleep soon bc it's almost 4am and I have to be up for work in less than 4 hours. Fuck. I haven't had a late night like this in a long ass time - I've become such an adult with getting to bed at a semi-decent hour (before 1am typically) so this is gonna suck tomorrow when I'm tired as shit and have a ton of shit to do because it is approaching year end and i have to hound a crapload of people to make sure we will land on target. Fun. My brain is racing so much that I haven't been able to fall asleep at all tonight. I tried to sleep but I kept thinking and thinking about what was pissing me off and also what is stressing me out (moving, getting a new job, resume bullshit, MONEY, etc etc etc). I can't wait to be in a stable place someday with finances, etc. At least once I'm back in DC I can find a better job and settle in come Spring with my boys and hopefully get back to my life after this "extended vacation away from DC" I've been on since March. That's truly what it feels like - I am SOOO not a west coast girl. Apparently, I even have a New England accent! HA!
Monday, November 06, 2006
I feel like I live in Italy all over again...
Our dryer is broken in our apt (yes, we are fortunate enough to have a laundry room in our 2 story condo!) and it’s so freakin annoying bc now I have to hang all my clothes up to air dry ala Roma style. When I lived in Italy we only had a washing machine that took 1.5 hours to run and no dryer – so we would sprawl clothes all over the apt and sheets all over the kitchen chairs, a total disaster! But it certainly made me appreciate washers and dryers back here in
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I am so much so an East Coast gal that I cannot survive and be happy and fulfilled on the west coast… as beautiful and fun as it is. I will miss listening to the waves crashing in the ocean from my bedroom window more than anything (I’m listening now, sooo nice! I hear fog horns too). I love
I think I idealized SF in my head after that visit. I think what contributed to the intense relaxation I felt here was due to the fact that I came here only mere months after my last boyfriend smashed my heart into little itty bitty crumbs so of course a vacation away from my misery and insomnia was much needed! I think I have a habit of idealizing and romanticizing places, people, and situations so much so that I believe it will make me extraordinarily happy when that is just plain unrealistic. Ooops. At least I realize I do this now so I can stop making stupid decisions. I was happy in DC, I don’t remember being unhappy there at all… maybe a bit bored and ready for change, but that was my own laziness in not taking advantage of the city and my friends and not me needing to actually move clear across the country. But I am extremely glad that I moved here and tried it out – it was a dream of mine and now I have accomplished it and saw for myself if it was right for me. I’ve grown in ways that I could not have in DC and I don’t have to walk through life questioning what living in CA is like anymore. I’m proud of my move even though I spent (and will be spending) shit loads of cash to move again. It was worth it though!
Ramble ramble ramble. I should get ready for bed. I need to get working on my resume this week too – gotta find a new job in DC come Feb/March! Ahhh! I hate job searching, hopefully I find something that suits me more than crappy financial analyst desk jobs, I get way too bored staring at a PC all day. I think my vision has worsened even more over the last year….sucks! I really want a job where I am working with people and different projects to keep me interested and motivated. Cuz right now, I’m boredddd!!!! I think I have a problem with authority too – but that’s a topic for another post. Basically, I can’t stand my boss telling me what to do, I feel like I should be telling HER what to do – its that natural leader in me screaming to get out. I think a lot of it is the way she talks to me and LOVES to constantly remind me of my “place” in the organization. Get over yourself lady! Go back to